Your past influence not only your emotional interactions within relationships, but also your sexual behavior. What you learned as a child about gender and how male and female roles are defined in the bedroom can limit your sexual experiences as adults. A woman’s sexuality is to be wondered and respected. Sex and orgasms are part of the life force, part of what makes us human. Yet many women grown up with the idea that “nice” women don’t pursue sexual pleasure. Society has even stigmatized women who enjoy sex and revel in their sexuality as promiscuous and wanton. These ideas stem from ignorance and have no place in modern society, but they still do exist.
And while women grapple with repressing their sexuality, men are expected not only to enjoy sex, but also to crave it day and night. Manhood is equated with voracious sexual appetite, so when a man has sexual difficulties or lacks interest in sex he feels as if he has failed. Whether he has a physical problem(such as gaining or maintaining an erection) or an emotional one, he will often suffer in silence. Men might be reluctant to voice their anxieties, doubts, or needs for fear of seeming weak or effeminate, while women may shy away from asking for what they want for fear of seeming too aggressive.
So the homework for you is to discuss what you learned as children about sex and gender, discard old unhelpful ideas, such as women shouldn’t initiate sex or men should be the main earners. It’s never too late to start creating new lessons for yourself and your family, and to draw positive gains from difficult past experiences! Until next time………..