I remember when I was a little girl all I wanted was my prince. I would dress up and dance around as if I was at the ball. I would sing my fairytale songs (some I made up and some repeated from Disney movies). I pictured being married and having my house with the white picket fence. The sun would be shining and I could feel the warmth on my face. I truly believed I was a princess and as an adult I still have that part of me. It has never left me. I still find myself looking in the mirror or washing dishes singing my toons and twirling around. I feel glamorous and stunning. I’m really a girly girl with a mind full of imagination. When I see my daughter now twirling and feeling those wonderful feelings it makes my heart melt. I see a part of me in her. I see that light. I can bond with her and it’s amazing to see the beauty of it all. When she tells me “Mommy I’m a princess”, I say “yes you are”. I really know she believes it. I believe it too. I forever will. Being a princess is not just a fairytale, it’s an attitude. It’s a feeling of ones self. It’s power. It’s creativity. It’s simply a good feeling. It’s all my girly things packaged in this small amazing being. It’s her smile. It’s my heart.
I watch him not notice me….I continuously punish myself for his choice.
I absorb all his stress and make it my own.
If only I could save the world for him…then he will know how deep my love really is.
Time is not on my side…I watch it tease me when i see others kissing or holding hands.
I want to freeze him in time.
Let him stand still and I can admire every feature.
If only time didn’t rob him from me.
He would be all mine. For now I will absorb it all.