Our Fairytale

I remember when I was a little girl all I wanted was my prince. I would dress up and dance around as if I was at the ball. I would sing my fairytale songs (some I made up and some repeated from Disney movies). I pictured being married and having my house with the white picket fence. The sun would be shining and I could feel the warmth on my face. I truly believed I was a princess and as an adult I still have that part of me. It has never left me. I still find myself looking in the mirror or washing dishes singing my toons and twirling around. I feel glamorous and stunning. I’m really a girly girl with a mind full of imagination. When I see my daughter now twirling and feeling those wonderful feelings it makes my heart melt. I see a part of me in her. I see that light. I can bond with her and it’s amazing to see the beauty of it all. When she tells me “Mommy I’m a princess”, I say “yes you are”. I really know she believes it. I believe it too. I forever will. Being a princess is not just a fairytale, it’s an attitude. It’s a feeling of ones self. It’s power. It’s creativity. It’s simply a good feeling. It’s all my girly things packaged in this small amazing being. It’s her smile. It’s my heart.

28/Twenty Eight

As I get closer and closer to my Birthday, I sit and reflect on many things. The good that has happened and also the bad. I am a thinker by nature. It is in my blood. I do a lot of reflecting on a daily basis. It’s just who I am and I have accepted it and realized it is one of my strengths.
This year has been like a roller coaster and not in the adrenaline like sense. I have lost many of things this year. I’ve hit my ultimate low. I’ve cried more tears than any ocean can hold. But here I sit still surviving and working my way through. You never know just how strong you are until you have passed the storm or sitting and reflecting. I have changed so much in this little bit of time that we call a year. I’ve hid my pain from all those who knew me. I played down my hurt. I smiled even though I was dying inside. I had to wonder do we ever achieve happiness? Do we ever get to a point where it’s okay to breathe?
I’ve seen and been through so much in my years of living on this earth. I’ve also achieved a great deal of things. I am grateful for all those achievements and I privately do victory dances for each. I won’t do so publicly for fear all I have will be taken away. I don’t know why I’m afraid to let others see my happiness. I’ve been like that as long as I can remember.
This year was a game changer , a life changer to say the least. I believe it changed me as a being. Changed my soul. So I will forever have this with me. I go forward a new person. I go forward a better me. A stronger me. More alive than ever. I now know exactly who deserves to be in my life and those who definitely must exit. I no longer feel inferior to anyone. I am who I am and my experiences are my own. I’m not perfect but I am great beyond anyone’s measure.
So this new year I welcome and will feel good to be another year wiser and older. I celebrate my age. I’m excited about it. I have never had this type of excitement before. This year. 365 Days.

There comes a defining moment when it’s time to let go. Let go all the insanity, the hurt feelings, the worry and pain. Sometimes it hurt so bad that you feel like you will never be whole and able again. You cry, you search for answers but the pieces are still broken. All the warmth and love you once felt has burned with all the memories that you’ve cherished. Som
etimes the strength doesn’t come fast enough and you find yourself longing for them again. So you stay.
The pattern, the problems, the distrust returns and you remember why you wanted to leave in the first place. You’re so afraid of change because you’ve been so comfortable with the familiar. You long for love, you dream of the relationship you want and still your feet won’t move. You somehow convinced yourself that mediocre and settling for less is okay. You trick your mind into thinking that what you want is too selfish or your feelings are not valid. The love you have for them goes deeper than yourself, you share seeds that you want to prosper and grow. You battle your temptations because the grass does look mighty green. You vent to deaf ears and empty minds because you’re scared of what any sensible
person would say. You know they would tell you what you already know. The truth.

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds
08/13/15

The Time I Never Get

 I watch him not notice me….I continuously punish myself for his choice.

I absorb all his stress and make it my own.

If only I could save the world for him…then he will know how deep my love really is.

Time is not on my side…I watch it tease me when i see others kissing or holding hands.

I want to freeze him in time.

Let him stand still and I can admire every feature.

If only time didn’t rob him from me.

He would be all mine. For now I will absorb it all.

Hard

My present is so unforgiving of my past that I worry about my future. Who am I during these times? Questions of a troubled woman with a golden soul. Questions I have no answers to. My mind will not let me be silent in thought. My knees are scarred from prayer and my tongue is numb from speaking my heart. The past will not let me forget and the present agreed. I still love to wake up each day with hope and appreciate every breath….shall I breathe in? Today is like no other my dreams are still the same and so are my fears. I have no time to cry or dare to show my pain I’m afraid….I’m indeed afraid.

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Be Careful What You Wish For!

All you wanted was love; what you got was the illusion of love and now you’re suffering from devastating effects of being hurt. That is the nature of human love, it can be warm and inviting one minute, cold and malicious the next, all in one neatly wrapped package.
Let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen. Beware of the illusion of love. When someone really loved you there is no second guessing. If you have to ask yourself if he/she loves you, then he/she doesn’t really love you. I say this because love can be seen through its expression. When we love, we care and we are always showing the person through examples.
Sex isn’t love, so don’t get it twisted. If a man likes to have sex with you all the time, that doesn’t mean he loves you. Same thing goes for men, if a woman just likes you for your sex, she doesn’t love you. Many people get that confused with love and you would be surprised at how many of us actually settle and believe that’s all there is. Words can have multiple meanings and expression is the truest form of honesty. We have to look beyond what’s masked and ask ourselves is this real? Or is this an illusion I’ve created? Of course we want to believe in something that’s greater than ourselves but don’t be fooled and don’t be a fool! Until next time…….

The Way I See It

Even though I don’t always speak
I write the words spoken from my heart
I follow my faintest dreams and always finish what I start
Procrastination is foreign to me it never held any weight
I’m the first to arrive to do my work and the one who’s still working after 8
I give my all those closest to me will tell
I walk my truth in a heavenly sense even though I’m walking in the mist of hell
To go back..never, to that I say never again
For I have seen my misfortunes and have become too determined
To settle for less or settle for the most great
That is a line I must define
So do not judge me based on my shell
My heart speaks a thousand words in a day sorry if you can’t tell
I may not speak but I do write words from my heart
I keep my word and always finish what I start
Blessed be my name even in my moments of shame
Nothing I have done I regret
I live my life for the better in me
I have not become perfect….yet!

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Thinking of You Again

I never knew you
But your smile was among the familiar
It spoke words to my soul
And I don’t even know what language you speak
I would never let you see me stare at you
For I’m afraid to send the wrong message
If you ever came close to parting your lips to me, my heart would melt
And run streams of silver and gold at your feet
You would feel my warmth and how rich I really am
And know I’m not easy

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Thoughts 04/02/2014

When the sun meets the sky I feel like that’s the greatest moment. The most pure thoughts cross my mind. The memories of yesterday find it’s place and I feel enthusiastic about today. The present.—-Written by Kimberly Reynolds

Tip of the day: Seize the moment and let the past find it’s place. Until next time…..