There comes a defining moment when it’s time to let go. Let go all the insanity, the hurt feelings, the worry and pain. Sometimes it hurt so bad that you feel like you will never be whole and able again. You cry, you search for answers but the pieces are still broken. All the warmth and love you once felt has burned with all the memories that you’ve cherished. Som
etimes the strength doesn’t come fast enough and you find yourself longing for them again. So you stay.
The pattern, the problems, the distrust returns and you remember why you wanted to leave in the first place. You’re so afraid of change because you’ve been so comfortable with the familiar. You long for love, you dream of the relationship you want and still your feet won’t move. You somehow convinced yourself that mediocre and settling for less is okay. You trick your mind into thinking that what you want is too selfish or your feelings are not valid. The love you have for them goes deeper than yourself, you share seeds that you want to prosper and grow. You battle your temptations because the grass does look mighty green. You vent to deaf ears and empty minds because you’re scared of what any sensible
person would say. You know they would tell you what you already know. The truth.

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds
08/13/15

The Time I Never Get

 I watch him not notice me….I continuously punish myself for his choice.

I absorb all his stress and make it my own.

If only I could save the world for him…then he will know how deep my love really is.

Time is not on my side…I watch it tease me when i see others kissing or holding hands.

I want to freeze him in time.

Let him stand still and I can admire every feature.

If only time didn’t rob him from me.

He would be all mine. For now I will absorb it all.

Hard

My present is so unforgiving of my past that I worry about my future. Who am I during these times? Questions of a troubled woman with a golden soul. Questions I have no answers to. My mind will not let me be silent in thought. My knees are scarred from prayer and my tongue is numb from speaking my heart. The past will not let me forget and the present agreed. I still love to wake up each day with hope and appreciate every breath….shall I breathe in? Today is like no other my dreams are still the same and so are my fears. I have no time to cry or dare to show my pain I’m afraid….I’m indeed afraid.

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

The Way I See It

Even though I don’t always speak
I write the words spoken from my heart
I follow my faintest dreams and always finish what I start
Procrastination is foreign to me it never held any weight
I’m the first to arrive to do my work and the one who’s still working after 8
I give my all those closest to me will tell
I walk my truth in a heavenly sense even though I’m walking in the mist of hell
To go back..never, to that I say never again
For I have seen my misfortunes and have become too determined
To settle for less or settle for the most great
That is a line I must define
So do not judge me based on my shell
My heart speaks a thousand words in a day sorry if you can’t tell
I may not speak but I do write words from my heart
I keep my word and always finish what I start
Blessed be my name even in my moments of shame
Nothing I have done I regret
I live my life for the better in me
I have not become perfect….yet!

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Thinking of You Again

I never knew you
But your smile was among the familiar
It spoke words to my soul
And I don’t even know what language you speak
I would never let you see me stare at you
For I’m afraid to send the wrong message
If you ever came close to parting your lips to me, my heart would melt
And run streams of silver and gold at your feet
You would feel my warmth and how rich I really am
And know I’m not easy

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Chasing Anger

The anger rages inside me

I feel it boiling up

no matter what other’s tell me

enough is never enough

I see the glares and the side way stares

I almost feel guilty

but when you struggle for so long

sometimes your heart comes up empty

courageous is the title I’m given

whether it rains or shines

I fake a smile and laugh awhile

all the while hurting 

I create my own space and for heaven’s sake 

let that be my bubble to think

let this moment be mine 

so I can unwind 

and release this anger peacefully

never again I say and every night I pray

Don’t let my anger get me

Even though I struggle maybe more than a couple

I take delight in my strength

Once was a weakness 

 

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

 

 

The Human Response

Living a life in an environment that’s not safe
Feeling preyed upon and never safe
Eyes are watching and hands are touching
Feeling low to the ground and much of nothing
Stay away from windows and lock all the doors
Wanting to escape and not just for me anymore
When did this become standard if at all any sense
Will I live today or die tomorrow is always the suspense
The only courage is to be a coward
Scared to face the world in the name of sorrow
Those whom died, those who tried
To live and make it to another tomorrow
So you can stand there and say ” go face your fears and hold back your tears and look life straight in the eye”
I say to you with all sincerity that part of me has died

Written by: Kimberly Reynolds

Ringing In My Head

Even though I prayed many times
For the clearing of my spiritual mind
To cleanse my soul and unwanted thoughts
To fight against what I was naturally taught
I find temptation hard to fight
Even though I wish I could every night
My soul is bare and open to the world
My heart on my sleeve like a teenage girl
Praying for strength, praying for light
Praying for answers day and night
Feeling like it’s a waste of time
Pouring out my feelings and mind
I fight for myself to stay sane
Caged in a box with only one name
I hear it now I heard it then
I hear it everyday….. It’s all a whirlwind
No one said this was the journey
No one told me how hard it would be
Still I pray and still I fight
Resisting evil with all my might

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds

Hurt

Just set me free, unbound the chains
And watch me flee
All the pain you caused, separates my body from my soul
Now in a million pieces, which once were a whole
I feel trapped here, stuck in this room
All I see are four walls and my never ending doom
The windows give me a glimmer of hope
As that is the only light that shines
How long do I have to search? How many mountains I have left to climb?
When and where does the world become mine? Not here, not there, probably a space in nowhere
The truth I speak, my thoughts run deep
No matter what you may seek, I have sought them longer
When does the hurt go away? What will make me stay? When do I become stronger ?

Written By : Kimberly Reynolds

Waking Up!!!!

Lost in a dream, watching my soul float around
Things that were important disappear into the clouds
Memories fade and I’m finally at peace
The air fill my lungs and I’m able to release
All the pain, tension, things that have been bothering me
If I scream there would be no echo
No sound at all
I can say what I want when I want
I could stand eight foot tall
Crushing all my demons and fear in one single leap
Coming back to life as a brand new me!

Written By: Kimberly Reynolds