Stress Relievers

Sex can be a very effective stress reliever. Orgasm itself has many benefits. The sedative and relaxing effects of oxytocin and other endorphins released during orgasm may explain why people find it easy to fall asleep after intercourse. But sex doesn’t have to lead to orgasm in order to release stress: simply being intimate with your partner is sometimes all it takes to soothe and relax you. 

A chaotic home that’s crowded with possessions could be adding to your stress. Introduce calm by de-cluttering, especially in the bedroom. Your bedroom should be a peaceful haven for sleep, sex, and intimacy not a storeroom for piles of clothes, books, or old sports memorabilia. Clear out unnecessary clutter, move your laptop or television to another room, and bring in a few luxurious accents, such as scented candles, plush pillows, soft sheets,and dimmers.

Make time for exercise. Physical activity can increase the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins.

Take your allotted vacation time. Make sure that you take all the accumulated days you are owed. Until next time……..

Reconnect With Your Lover

Vacations are vital for helping us to unwind and recharge our batteries, but most couples use up their vacation days on trips that simply aren’t relaxing. Taking the children to the beach or to visit their grandparents is fun, but it is hardly a sensual, romantic break. Not to mention that, in between packing everyone’s swimsuits, finding lost bottles, and refereeing the children’s fights in the backseat, you barely have a moments peace. The same is true for traveling with in-laws, who are likely to exhaust not only your energy, but also your reserves of patience and diplomacy.
Couples trips should be a must in every relationship. Time alone with your partner somewhere different and romantic will help you to slip out of your usual roles and routines. When you strip away the to-do lists and the stress, you will finally be able to simply be with your lover. Not only will this give you an opportunity to reconnect with your mate on an emotional level, but it will provide a chance to reconnect on a physical level as well. They don’t call it vacation sex for nothing!!!! Until next time………

Boost Your Low Libido ;-)

One of the main reasons for a low libido is that sex becomes too routine or chore like. If you want your sex life to be fun and spicy, you have to put in the work to make it that way! Bring sex into the equation as often as possible, even if you don’t really feel in the mood at first. It’s surprising how quickly your body warms up once you get started, and the more often you and your partner have sex, the more you will crave it. Take each other by surprise by making advances when your lover least expects it.
You don’t have to go for full intercourse every time just enjoy exploring each other’s bodies and making sexual contact. </em>

What Role Are You?

Are you a victim or a survivor?
A victim is someone who acts weak,vulnerable, and helpless. A victim can often be heard saying things such as “I don’t know, “I can’t”, or ” no one cares about be”. Victims martyr themselves and think “poor me”. The victim often responds to stress or conflict by running out of a room, crying and refusing to reveal why, or throwing similar temper tantrums. In bed, a victim might have be a woman who never orgasms, or a man who’d like to try something different, but ends up having the same sex every time or vice versa.
If you spot yourself being the victim, stop! Remind yourself you are a survivor. A survivor is someone who takes responsibility for his or her happiness and realize that it is unreasonable to expect others to solve all their problems. Emphasis on All because it is reasonable to expect some of life’s problems to be solved by others, especially if it’s your partner. A survivor realizes the importance of working through disagreements and has the courage to express how they are feeling. They also carry a very sexy trait which is called self respect!

Are you a villain or collaborator?
When you play the villain, you are confrontational, sarcastic, degrading, vengeful, easily enraged. A villain is quick to blame others and often makes excuses and take arguments to a high intensity. In bed, a villain is often focusing only on his or her pleasure, refuse sex, or deny sex as a form of revenge. By surrendering the need to come first, the villain can become a collaborator in bed and in life. The villains passion can benefit both parties and his or her confidence to try new things can be very rewarding and exciting. Collaboration lets you rely on one another, confident in the knowledge that you will passionately pursue each other’s best interests. This gives you the freedom to be creative in bed, have fresh ideas to solving conflict, and grow together as a couple.

Are you a hero or problem solver?
In the hero role you are satisfied by nurturing and helping others, even if it is to your detriment. A hero often turns down help and takes on a bigger load than necessary, all for the reward of pleasing others. In the bedroom, a hero seeks to satisfy their partner at all costs, while ignoring their own sexual needs. By suppressing their desires, however, a hero is being true neither to themselves nor to their partner. This can lead to resentment and pent up frustration.
A problem solver knows rather than denying his or her own needs they find ways to equally satisfy needs of themselves and others. If you are secure in your relationship, you should ask for what you need and want in the bed and in the rest of your relationship. Courage gives you an open door to real intimacy.

There are identifying roles in every relationship and the quicker you discover what they are and wether or not they are good or bad for you, the closer you are to changing and having a fulfilling relationship! The above roles are examples as there are many more to think of. Let this be a focal point to begin the process. Until next time…….

Challenge gender/sex behavior

Your past influence not only your emotional interactions within relationships, but also your sexual behavior. What you learned as a child about gender and how male and female roles are defined in the bedroom can limit your sexual experiences as adults. A woman’s sexuality is to be wondered and respected. Sex and orgasms are part of the life force, part of what makes us human. Yet many women grown up with the idea that “nice” women don’t pursue sexual pleasure. Society has even stigmatized women who enjoy sex and revel in their sexuality as promiscuous and wanton. These ideas stem from ignorance and have no place in modern society, but they still do exist.
And while women grapple with repressing their sexuality, men are expected not only to enjoy sex, but also to crave it day and night. Manhood is equated with voracious sexual appetite, so when a man has sexual difficulties or lacks interest in sex he feels as if he has failed. Whether he has a physical problem(such as gaining or maintaining an erection) or an emotional one, he will often suffer in silence. Men might be reluctant to voice their anxieties, doubts, or needs for fear of seeming weak or effeminate, while women may shy away from asking for what they want for fear of seeming too aggressive.

So the homework for you is to discuss what you learned as children about sex and gender, discard old unhelpful ideas, such as women shouldn’t initiate sex or men should be the main earners. It’s never too late to start creating new lessons for yourself and your family, and to draw positive gains from difficult past experiences! Until next time………..

Change It Up!

Chemistry doesn’t always happen on its own you have to put forth effort into creating sparks. Find ways to re-create elements of those heady early days of your relationship, and you’ll be as hot for each other as you were back then. Doing the unexpected will remind your lover of the days when he or she couldn’t predict your behavior in the same way as now. Consider introducing a new move in the bedroom or initiating sex at a time you usually don’t , such as in the morning or when he or she walks in the door from work. Give your lover a long passionate kiss when he or she is least expecting it. It’s not the nature of the surprise that’s important, it’s the unpredictability of it!
Change your routine!!!!!
When you try out activities that push you to your limits the adrenaline and dopamine released in your brain give you the kind of jitters that you feel during the infatuation stage of romance. And the excitement can do wonders for your sex drive and intimacy. So, if you dare, try an adventure date, like skydiving it bungee jumping. If heights are out of the question, opt for kayaking.
At the very least, change your routine when you go out on a date. Explore a new part of the neighborhood; sample new cuisine; order wine or drinks you never tried before. Do anything you like. But it must be new, and you must do it together.
Until next time……..

Enjoying A True Connection

If you ever experience unhappiness in your relationship, it’s most likely due to a lack of connection. Make time for your partner, be there for each other emotionally, and keep your sex life interesting this will help you to create a relationship that sustains and inspires you, physically and emotionally, for years to come. Keep a strong connection with your partner by working on intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. This shouldn’t be difficult. Sometimes the simplest acts bring couples closer and help them to enjoy each other’s company. Wether it is a common hobby, a vacation together, or carving out time to cuddle in bed and catch up on the days events, many couples find that it takes only a little spark to light their fire that is if both partners are really there.
It is important to be emotionally present to keep that close connection with your lover. Give him or her your undivided attention, and you can bond even with just ten moments together. On the other hand, if your mind is on something else, you could spend hours alone with your partner and never truly connect.

Stay present in your relationship by practicing appreciation and gratitude. By appreciating what you have right now, you can put yourself in the moment and get off the constant “I want/I need” merry-go-round. Like always until next time……….

Benefits of a committed relationship

Benefits of a committed relationship

A committed relationship in which both partners experience real connection is a source of joy, inspiration, and comfort. With your lover and best friend by your side, you have someone who makes your life 100% worth living, even when everything that can go wrong does. You have someone to cuddle in bed with, to laugh with, to support you through loss, to cheer you through adversity, and to help you celebrate victory. Potentially, you even have someone to create life with.
Being in a committed relationship brings stability and security. You’re likely to feel happier and more contented than your single counterparts, making you less prone to mental illness and depression. You’re also less likely to abuse tobacco and alcohol, and more likely to lead an active lifestyle, be happier, and live longer. When you feel a strong connection to your lover, it energizes you and helps you to appreciate and connect to the outside world. Yes, we can survive without love, but we won’t necessarily thrive.
For most couples, being in an exclusive monogamous relationship affords them the best sex of their lives. When there are no trust issues and you are with one person you love and feel safe with, there’s a level of freedom and creativity that would be impossible in a casual encounter. Yet when TV shows, movies, and Hollywood in General tend to portray monogamy as dull~even old fashioned~we can’t help but be a little influenced by this. The reality is that, far from being boring, monogamy gives you the opportunity to enjoy sex every day of your life, to be spontaneous, to experiment, and explore your wildest fantasies with abandon because you feel safe to do so. Until next time……….

Sex talk, Monday Madness!!!!

I feel like I’m stuck in a sexual rut. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not in tuned with my body or if I’m just bored. I told myself today I am going on a sex strike (whatever that means). Sex is suppose to be enjoyable and lately it is not cutting it for me. Don’t get me wrong I like sex and have had some very pleasurable experiences…..just cannot put my finger on the problem. Is it a communication issue? Maybe!! Stress? Maybe!! Lack of sleep? Maybe!! Is there a such thing as being sexually exhausted? I’m going to do a little more self reflection and pay more attention to my body cues. I have never had this happen and I’m afraid I might be overreacting. I tend to over think anyway. Sex and I mean healthy sex should always be safe, pleasurable, and comfortable. When it’s not its time to investigate the surrounding factors as well as the issue at hand. Don’t freak out and think something is tragically wrong with you, I’m pretty sure it’s natural and we as humans are complex creatures and have gone through this at some point in our sex lives. I encourage everyone to become more sexually aware of their bodies and find what makes you feel sexually satisfied. My quest for knowledge and answers is never over, what I learn I bring to you guys. Until next time……..

Safe And Healthy Sex

To be safe and healthy when having sex, you need to talk with your partner and plan. The following suggestions can help:

Talk with your partner. Before having sex, you should talk about his or her STD status or IV drug use, and wether he or she will agree to use a condom.

Protect yourself every time you have sex, including oral sex, until you’re sure your partner doesn’t have an STD. A condom is the best protection against STDs. A new one should be used every time you have sex.

Be responsible. Don’t have sexual contact if you have or are being treated for an STD. If you’ve had unprotected sex, see your doctor for a complete STD screening.

Stay alert and aware. Alcohol and drugs impair your judgement and your ability to use condoms properly.

Remember “SAFE” sex is for responsible people who care about their health and that of their partners! Until next time …..